My Own Worst Enemy
Yesterday, no matter how hard I tried to focus on my responsibilities as lead producer, my mind was consumed by thoughts of an impending doom, a.k.a. my JOUR 381 midterm at 6:30 p.m. I believe a truly great producer is defined by their unfailing ability to concentrate entirely on bringing their newscast to life. Unfortunately, on Monday, I was at the mercy of my obsessive-compulsive nature, which left me plagued with an irrational sense of guilt regarding the time that I was spending producing, instead of studying. Going forward, I need to work on training myself to not allow life’s various distractions to clutter my thinking and, in turn, hinder my performance.
Despite the fact that my day consisted of me being mentally pulled in two opposing directions, I still made a concerted effort to further improve on my journey to becoming a more confident, authoritative, and knowledgeable producer. While I feel as though I am definitely making strides, there is, of course, still a lot for me to learn. At this point, my perfectionism, combined with my self-deprecating tendencies, serve as the greatest impediments to my mastery of the craft of producing. Not surprisingly, producing is congruent with nearly every other aspect of my life, where I am my own worst enemy. My steadfast desire for perfection, particularly as it pertains to the organization of the rundown, and my propensity to stew over every little mistake seriously limits the speed with which I accomplish tasks. In the future, I must remember that I need to make air, not art! If I can fill in the rundown in a timely and efficient manner, then I will increase the sense of urgency in the newsroom; thus, encouraging everyone else to promptly begin work on their respective duties.
In addition to my personal obstacles, our team continues to struggle with the same issue that I addressed in my very first blog: communication. In fact, since our team has grown from two to three people, I am sad to report that our level of discourse has actually worsened. For whatever reason – perhaps we all share similar antisocial dispositions – we have a real problem when it comes to talking to one another. For instance, this week, Christine created a graphic that did not correspond with the Ukraine story's specific angle. Indeed, there was no excuse for us to not be on the same page, especially considering that Christine and I were sitting right next to each other. Christine, Kimiya, and I get so intent on completing our individual tasks that we forget that we are in this together! I am not sure what we have to do to establish clear lines of communication between the three of us, but, at this point, I am willing to try anything – even if it means creating a dreaded Google doc. Since we all always have our heads buried in our computer monitors, a Google doc. might be the best solution.
I have rarely felt exhaustion comparable to that after a producing shift. However, I have also never experienced exhilaration like watching a segment of my newscast play out just as I had hoped. The days are stressful and long, but, each time, I leave with the satisfaction of knowing that I did my best to execute the show as smoothly as possible.
